Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
~Dick Brandon~
Meanwhile in Ontario, CA…
Another average American woman survives to the age of 43 and doesn’t quite have a face like a leather purse yet. Scientists all over the world are clamoring over just a small sample of her DNA in hopes of helping hundreds of thousands of aging women everywhere.
Most notable images from my iFunny journey.
You’d better believe it! Those of you that don’t think so are merely projecting your own selfishness on others. I’ll grant that more people are selfish than selfless but that doesn’t mean that everyone is selfish.
When was the last time you had to decide between eating and making sure your child does? Sounds pretty selfless to me. Every single loving parent out there made the most selfless decision of all when they decided to mold their life around raising their children in the best way they are able.
Is it such a reach to think that people can apply this same selflessness to any part of their lives? What about those that devote themselves to caring for their lover or spouse after they’ve become incapable of doing it for themselves? Ever seen someone suffer Alzheimer’s? It’s such a strange disease. Those that suffer seldom appear to be ill in any fashion. Not generally a painful existence but certainly debilitating. I know it horrifies me to think that such a thing may be my final fate. And I hope that those in my life that profess to love me will not be so selfish as to cast me aside like so much rubble.
These are of course extreme cases of selflessness, but they can happen in lesser forms every single day. When someone you love wants something and it means more to you to see them happy then it’s easy to be selfless. I suppose if you tried hard enough you could twist such an attitude into a something selfish by saying you are only concerned with taking the chosen path to make you feel better about yourself. But honestly I feel that is a sad distortion of the true spirit behind what a selfless person feels.
Next time someone offers to do something truly selfless just let them and try to understand how much happier you both will be.
Yes!
The whole mind set of people today is one of perpetual instant gratification. Nothing in life worth experiencing or being a part of has ever come instantly or easily. When you place so little value on what you share intimately with another person that you can’t see your way clear to putting forth the energy required to make it through the rough times then the only person you are cheating is yourself. This in no way means that you should be with someone that isn’t willing to put forth as much effort as you are. I do think people jump into monogamous relationships before they really know each other. Before they know whether the one they love is willing to work as hard as they are.
I’ve heard people say things like, “When you love someone it shouldn’t be hard.” The truth is that life is hard. We all deal with hard times and rough things whether we are with a significant other or not. When you love someone else you can not forget that they are just as prone to life’s dark times as you are. You can not make assumptions based on a single response to some suggestion on any particular day. What if they were having a bad day? Wouldn’t you want some consideration if the bad day were yours to deal with?
This is not meant to suggest that each of us is not capable of loving more than one person at the same time. I too have loved more than one person at the same time. What I often wonder about that situation was also echoed by Dan Savage in one of his speeches on You Tube (see below). How can you expect to find a deep, meaningful connection and experience it to it’s fullest if the energy you are willing to give is divided over several people? Truthfully I don’t see how. I mean honestly it’s already been proven through scientific research that even though we all *think* we are good at multitasking we actually aren’t. In fact the study showed that we are all quite bad at it. When you try to apply multitasking to your intimate relationships how much better do you think you might fair with something so complex?
My point here is this you can be devoted to a single lover, you have only to decide that is what you want. It’s much like the same kind of decision a drug addict must make in order to break the bonds of dependency. If you harbor so much as one excuse for why it’s impossible it always will be. But the minute you toss those excuses in the scrap heap and refuse to pick them back up the next time you feel like things with your lover aren’t happening as instantly as you’d have them, you’ll find that it really is no harder to be monogamous than it is to be non-monogamous.
I’ve been asking myself this question quite often recently.
Over the last 3 years I’ve worked as often as life will permit towards learning computer programming, graphic design, and web development. I managed to complete 2 years of course study at San Antonio Community College with a 3.91 GPA and a membership to Phi Theta Kappa. On the flip side of that coin I still have no degree, no certifications, and nearly $8,000 in student loans to pay off.
I relocated to southern California to work with a group of people that seemed to have a promising future only to discover a month later than they had mishandled their money so badly that no one was getting paid. Just about the time my life savings had completely vanished I managed to secure a fairly good entry level position with a technology company doing much of the same type of work that I’ve done all my life, with a bit of graphic design and some website content management.
Things seemed to be looking as if they just might level out again when the bottom fell out of my personal relationship. Within just over six months my life had done a complete flip from the stable rock solid life I’d spent 40 years building to one of absolute unknowns.
I picked up what I could carry and headed back to Texas. On arrival I found that my house had been rented out to a family that has begun to destroy the property making an already low value property close to unlivable or marketable and ended up living in an extra room between the house and the garage at my ex-husband’s house.
Let just say at this point in time I am wondering what is it we all think we are working for? I ask this question because nothing and I do mean *nothing* is permanent. All that stuff you think you have is only on loan including your friends and family. I think this is the key to it all. Everything we think we know is a complete illusion. It is what we’ve made it in our minds and nothing more you can be sure of that.
None of this is meant to be cynical or depressive just completely honest. Ever notice how very difficult it is to hear the real truth? Once I can come to terms with it all I think I will finally find that place of peace the Buddhists speak of. I feel that is the only true goal we have in this life; to see the truth and come to terms with it.
We are not here to make anyone else happy, don’t even try because it is an endeavor doomed to failure from the start. The only person you can ever make happy is yourself. Make that your goal, the thing you are working for, the focus of your existence while you are here.
I’ve found that when you are happy two things happen. First like minded people tend to gravitate to you. This is the beautiful face of your goal. The less than savory face of this place you’ve created through your own happiness is an attraction of people that have not found their happiness. They often seem hell bent on sucking the happiness out of your existence. Learn to recognize these vampires for who and what they are so that you may preserve your happiness.
So my current answer to the original question…”What to do?” is simply find my happy place and defend it until my last breath has been issued.
Remember when you were a little kid and someone would bounce you on their knee and you’d pretend you were riding a horse? Check it!!! This was too much fun to watch.
